Control your impulsiveness, become a charismatic person

I was an impulsive person; When I heard ideas that contradicted my thoughts, I usually felt the inner urge to react quickly and defensively. I thought this was ok, until two things happen: first I hurt the persons I love most and second I saw this behavior in others  and repealed me. I realized that I couldn't go like this any longer and I must change.

I was taking everything personally, as an offense to me (emotional, intellectual) therefore began to fight back. The other person felt that aggressiveness and responded in the same way, becoming resistant to my information, rejecting me as a conversation party. However, I dislike confrontation therefore I usually stopped before things got ugly. Anyway, this behavior was not at all healthy! 

My change: out of love and logic. Once I realized that my behavior was unhealthy I began to control my reactions. It wasn't something conscious or planned, I just started doing so. It was during a workshop, in which I had a pact with others on a matter but one person lied and broke the pact in his favor. I felt betrayed and hurt, I wanted to make him pay, but this time something was different. instead of action, I understood my feelings and rationalized them. I knew that were normal feelings, everybody felt that way but there was something more at stake, the common goal, that required us to become a team again and trust each other again. Not everybody could understand that and control their feelings, therefore we lost. But that day I won, I won the battle over my feelings, realizing that emotional reaction can be controlled.     

It was a moment of clarity for me, unknown to me before. I could stop that domino effect of my emotion -reaction, I rationally understood it, I understood that it was a normal emotion but this time I saw the long term effect instead of letting myself react on the short term. Being emotional meant losing, therefore giving in to my urge meant losing the game. 

This might appear a small step for some, but for me was a huge huge step for a better judgment!  

PS. this is about negative emotions and their consequences. not positive! there is a big distinction between these two emotions